If you have an issue to address that may undermine them if discussed in front of others, wait until you are alone. In the same vein, do not disparage your spouse to friends and family, even if you are in an argument from which you believe you will never recover. People have an uncanny way of remembering the worst no matter how many other good things you tell them after the fact. Most importantly, remain loyal to your partner when they ask you to support their dreams and aspirations.
Guaranteed, they will remember if you are not there for them when they need your comfort most. Talk lovingly and with deep respect. Whether your partner is looking to discuss a serious matter or is confirming what you would like to order in for dinner, speak to them with love and respect. Even if you are having a bad day, busy, or in a lousy mood just because, remind yourself that your spouse has feelings, too, and small, dismissive comments tend to create distance between a couple over time.
Support without hesitation. Yes, support your partner enthusiastically, but still within reason. That means if your spouse, for instance, is considering going back to school or work, or switching careers , hear them out. Listen to the pros and cons and weigh in without pause. If your partner, however, is speaking about liquidating your joint savings account to put it all on black in Vegas, obviously you may want to refrain from jumping for joy.
The point is to be as supportive as you can, given the realities of the situation. Touch often. Words mean a lot but they are no substitute for human contact. Kiss and hug your partner.
Touch their cheek, their hand. Hold each other. Often we can communicate more with a few moments of skin-to-skin contact than we ever could in an hour-long conversation. Listen carefully. Just like words, silence can speak volumes. The key to a healthy marriage is to incorporate both. To learn more about Vikki, visit www. Main Menu U. News U.
Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism. Special Projects Highline. Choose a Marriage Book to Read Together. Read it during your planning session or read one chapter each week for the next few months. After each chapter, discuss together the principles you learned. Find a Ministry Opportunity. Find a way you can add value to someone in need. Are you both serving in separate areas?
Would you prefer to minister to others as a couple? Evaluate your ministry opportunities and devise a plan to change, if needed. Evaluate Your Health and Wellness. Do you need to find time to exercise? Can you work out together? Are you on the same page about food and nutrition? Create or Evaluate Your Budget. Arguments about money are one of the greatest causes of strife in a marriage.
If you already have a budget, take time to look at your entire financial picture on a grand scale evaluate from an annual and lifetime perspective rather than a monthly budget. Child ren. What do you want to teach your kids during the next year? Are you on the same page about discipline and rewards? How can you improve as a spouse? Ask and be willing to listen. Find out what your spouse thinks are the top five priorities to accomplish. You just may be surprised at the answers!
Pencil in Your Calendar. What does your life look like during the next year? Five years? Ten years? Are there seasons where you can help others more? Or do you need to cut back? Are you traveling? Do you make time to get in the Word?
Do you have time to study if you are in school? What about time with immediate and extended family? Alone time? Community involvement? Social Engagements? Date night? But it's also because for my husband and me, having something written down that we could both refer to just makes it more real and, somehow, more important.
If we're going to make things work, we have to treat our relationship as a priority. So first, we created goals for ourselves as a couple, which included finding a new, more flexible therapist.
Unfortunately, while we both like our current marriage counselor, her limited office hours were difficult for us to work around given my husband's unpredictable schedule. We also decided that we need to have one date night a month. We'd rotate on planning and coordinating it, but it had to happen. And we also realized that we needed to have at least one night a week where we were completely unplugged and just hanging out at the house together. Then separately, we wrote down a list of the things we want and need from the other , which ranged from big issues like talking first before making large decisions for the family yes, I know it seems obvious, but not for everyone to smaller issues like "a kiss goodnight every night.
Whatever happens to be in your action plan, the point is that by writing it out or typing it up, and then signing it, you're agreeing to try. Both of you, together. And if one person doesn't stick to it, or fails to live up to expectations, you've got a piece of paper , not just some reference to a heated conversation you had a few weeks ago and who can remember that with four kids and little sleep?
0コメント